Leadership Conference - March 27, 2011

Our Annual Leadership Conference took place on Sunday, March 27, 2011. Like previous years we had speakers from the Teleos Leadership Institute (www.teleosleaders.com). Mrs. Christina Yerkes, Consultant and Mrs. Laura Carrick, Senior Consultant did an excellent job explaining the importance of becoming a succesful leader.

The presenters started with an Opening Exercise (Self-Assessment Questionnaire) to determine the type of leader we are, and also got the students actively involved when the participants had to complete and act out a series of interactive exercises.

Thank you Teleos and thank you students who participated!

A few notes on Leadership...

What is Leadership?

We can define “leadership” in many ways. These are the definitions of Leadership that make sense to me. Leadership is vision, knowledge, drive, confidence, optimism, openness, humanity, and caring. It is direction and guidance that inspires dedication, confidence, and achievement. Leadership is required to inspire and bring out the best in people, and to give them the courage to survive the tough times.

Leadership is a process by which a person influences and motivates others to accomplish an objective, and directs an organization in a way that makes it more cohesive and coherent (unified, connected, and harmonious). We could define leadership as a quality that an individual possesses - an ability to guide or direct others to achieve a common goal. Leadership is considered a "management skill;" but is more than a management skill.

"Leadership is influencing people - by providing purpose, direction, and motivation - while operating to accomplish the mission and improving the organization."

A leader must inspire others. A leader should instill passion and direction to an individual or group of individuals, using psychology to affect that group either consciously or subconsciously. So, leadership is the ability to inspire, empower, and instill passion in others; the ability to guide and direct (lead) others; the ability to motivate others toward a common goal. Leaders get results. They are attuned to others as they lead them toward a meaningful and better future. The question is: How do we accomplish this? How can we become great leaders?

The book “Primal Leadership” mentions that: “Great leaders move us. They ignite our passion and inspire the best in us. When we try to explain why they are so effective, we speak of strategy, vision, or powerful ideas. But the reality is much more primal: Great leadership works through the emotions.”

We know that we need to develop certain skills to become an effective and successful leader. Yes, we need to have vision, be confident, responsible and disciplined, be a good listener, manage our time efficiently, make important decisions, display integrity, take risks, build teams, communicate effectively, help others, etc.; but we also have to take in consideration the fact that our moods and attitudes greatly affect the emotions of the people around us. We basically have the power to encourage or discourage others. We can set a positive or negative tone in our organization – this tone will affect the productivity and efficiency of those we lead. A good leader, of course, “encourages” and “inspires.” It’s essential to radiate passion, motivation, excitement, love and positive emotions if we want to inspire others, because a good leader does that: “inspires” others and learns to become “emotionally intelligent” in order to accomplish his/her goals. Even after developing our own leadership style, we have to take in consideration this powerful skill – “emotional intelligence.” (Pay attention to these words: EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE – because today we will be focusing on this – we want to teach you to become “emotionally intelligent” individuals, “emotionally intelligent” leaders). Richard Levin, President of Yale University stated: “True leadership means drawing the best out of others and inspiring them toward a worthy goal.” We have to learn to take the initiative within an organization to inspire, motivate and get the best out of others to accomplish great things with “emotional intelligence.” That is the challenge!

In learning to become “emotionally intelligent” leaders (emotional intelligent leaders are successful leaders!) we have to become aware of our weaknesses and our strengths, and we have to learn to manage our moods and the moods of our followers; but mood is not all that matters. Our actions are critical too, and mood and actions together must resonate with the organization and with reality. Yes, leaders have to conquer many challenges; but taken as a whole the message is clear: “Emotional Leadership” is the spark that ignites a company’s or organization’s performance. You can learn to apply these lessons here in school when you lead your Club or Organization members and in the future in your workplace, even in your family life.

As leaders we have to find effective ways to understand and improve the way we handle our own and other people’s emotions. We have to learn to communicate effectively, and to motivate, guide and instill passion in others by influencing their emotions in positive ways, in order to provoke enthusiasm, motivation, and passion in them, so that they can give us their best performance, and be always challenged to do their best.

Remember Maya Angelou’s words: “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Leadership Conference March 21st, 2010

Our Leadership Conference was very successful! We learned more about "Resonant Leadership" from our invited speaker-guests, from the Teleos Leadership Institute, and spend some very productive time sharing a great experience. The interactive exercises were very rewarding, great ideas were discussed, and suggestions were written for future implementation. Thanks to all who participated! This conference wouldn't have been successful without your support! SBA rocks!

"Resonant Leadership"

Saint Basil Academy's next Leadership Conference will take place March 21st, 2010. The topic: "Resonant Leadership." We are very pleased to have two great experienced speakers from the Teleos Leadership Institute this year, Ms. Suzanne Rotondo and Ms. Christina Yerkes. We are looking forward to a very successful event. Please check their site at: www.teleosleaders.com.

What are resonant leaders? Dr. Richard Boyatzis and Dr. Annie McKee wrote in "Inspiring Others Through Resonant Leadership:" "Resonant leaders are in tune with those around them. This results in people who either intuitively understand or have worked hard to develop 'emotional intelligence' - namely, the competencies of self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. They act with mental clarity, not simply following a whim or an impulse. In addition to being great to work with, resonant leaders get results."

So it's essential to learn how to develop the qualities and skills of resonant leaders, in order to become more effective and motivated leaders. Remember: great leaders inspire others through clarity of vision, optimism, and a profound belief in their -and their people's- ability to turn dreams into reality.

Positive and motivated leaders project enthusiasm and passion, and inspire others to become productive individuals (or workers). Others get excited, creative and energized and learn to become resilient, strong, adaptive and always do their best. Leaders set the tone of the organization (whatever this is - a school, a big corporation, a country) and create positive or negative environments. Leaders have great influence and affect how others feel. They are ultimately responsible for the atmosphere they create around them.

Let's try our best to learn to become "resonant leaders," working with harmony, getting along with others and inspiring them to achieve their goals and dreams while creating a positive and harmonious working place.

I found an interesting video in www.YouTube, check it out: www.youtube.com/ImagineLeadership. It has some very interesting facts and will make you think about the importance of acquiring leadership skills and becoming a good and effective leader. Also check Dr. Annie McKee's video: www.youtube.com/GoodandBadLeaders (you can find others there).

"Emotional Intelligence"

Our Leadership Conference was very successful and opened our minds to a very interesting topic - "emotional intelligence." We may have heard this term before; but maybe didn't pay too much attention to it. What is "emotional intelligence"? To be intelligent about "emotions"? How can we become intelligent about our emotions and the emotions of those around us?

According to Daniel Goleman, one of my favorite authors now, "emotional intelligence refers to the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships. It describes abilities distinct from, but complementary to, academic intelligence, the purely cognitive capacities measured by IQ. Many people who are book smart but lack emotional intelligence end up working for people who have lower IQs than they but who excel in emotional intelligence skills."

In 1990, a comprehensive theory of emotional intelligence was proposed by two psychologists, Peter Salovey, from Yale University, and John Mayer (not the singer), from the University of New Hampshire. Many theorists have proposed variations on this same topic. Salovey and Mayer defined emotional intelligence in terms of being able to monitor and regulate one's own feelings, and to use feelings to guide thought and action. They're still fine-tuning this theory. I guess some theories are never truly fully complete - there's always room for improvement and for trying to achieve mastery.

Dr. Goleman mentions in his work five basic emotional and social competencies (important qualities we should master):

• Self-Awareness - knowing what we are feeling in the moment, and using those preferences to guide our decision making; having a realistic assessment of our own abilities and a well-grounded sense of self-confidence.
• Self-Regulation - handling our emotions so that they facilitate rather than interfere with the task at hand; being conscientious and delaying gratification to pursue goals; recovering well from emotional distress.
• Motivation - using our deepest preferences to move and guide us toward our goals, to help us take initiative and strive to improve, and to persevere in the face of setbacks and frustrations.
• Empathy - sensing what people are feeling, being able to take their perspective, and cultivating rapport and atunement with a broad diversity of people.
• Social Skills - handling emotions in relationships well and accurately reading social situations and networks; interacting smoothly; using these skills to persuade and lead, negotiate and settle disputes, for cooperation and teamwork.

Learning about emotional intelligence should become our lifetime's challenge. We MUST learn to become emotionally intelligent individuals to become better persons, increase our self-confidence, find a more rewarding job and get along better with others (our loved ones, our co-workers, our classmates, our friends and relatives, and all those around us). Our relationships will certainly become more positive and fulfilling. I firmly believe that it's essential to be more in touch with our feelings, attitudes, moods and emotions (in general). Of course parents, schools, and our environment highly influence our emotional development; but we always have the opportunity to change and improve ourselves, and to recognize and become more aware of our emotional needs. Then, hopefully, we can also learn to empower others, influencing them in positive ways and encouraging them to become better persons themselves. What do you think?

Check Dr. Goleman's site at: www.danielgoleman.info. You can find more information in the search engine of your choice and find his books in Amazon.com (my favorite place to buy books) or in your favorite bookstore. Daniel Goleman is the author of the international bestsellers, Emotional Intelligence, Working with Emotional Intelligence, and Social Intelligence and co-author (with Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee) of Primal Leadership: Realizing the Power of Emotional Intelligence.

Also check: www.teleosleaders.com for more information on this important topic. For a PDF on Emotional Intelligence go to "LDC" on their site.

The Art of Making Decisions

One thing we constantly have to do in our lives is make decisions; from deciding what to wear, how to fix our hair, what to eat for breakfast to more important decisions, like what are we going to do with our lives, what college are we going to attend, which career are we going to pursue, how will we accomplish our goals and dreams. We have to learn the art of decision-making. Decision making skills are also a key component of time management skills.

To become proficient in this decision-making process, we should consider the following:

1. Quiet the Mind: Let’s find the time for “quiet time,” to pay attention to our thoughts, to listen to our spirit (what Elizabeth Lesser called in her book “The Seeker’s Guide” – our inner angel). Learn to listen to the wisdom of your heart, your spirit and your body – for a deeper understanding about how to live your best life. Find time for silence, reflection and prayer. Find time for God. Get in touch with your inner feelings and emotions. Learn to be calm amidst confusion and chaos.

2. Open your Heart and Mind: Learn to forgive yourself for being human, and forgive your parents, teachers, bosses, relatives, friends and others for also being human. Remember that no one is perfect. Connect with others with an open mind and an open heart – we all need others to encourage us and to teach us many lessons (yes! we learn something from everyone).

3. Know your Needs and Wants: Needs are different than Wants. Try to discover what you really need in your life to make you feel happy and at peace; and also try to find out what you really want in your life, the important “wants,” while recognizing the difference between your needs and your wants. Get in touch with what you really love to do and take in consideration your values, your talents, your goals and dreams. Set priorities, and above all, want good things for yourself! Remember that your thoughts, intentions and actions are important to create your life.

4. Be Considerate, Empathetic and Respectful: When making decisions in your life you should always consider how those decisions affect others. Learn to be more understanding, sensitive to and aware of the feelings of others. Our actions, no matter what these are, have repercussions. Major decisions will have an impact, not only in your life, but also in the life of those persons who love you and care about you. Not taking others in consideration is a sign of selfishness and arrogance. Act responsibly and respect them!

5. Develop a Healthy Self-Esteem: You are stronger than you think! You have the ability to work on your self-confidence and your self-esteem by improving yourself, developing self-awareness, learning new skills, becoming a responsible person, keeping a positive outlook on life, achieving success (your definition of success) in many areas of your life, and learning not to take things so personally and so seriously. Keep in mind that we all make mistakes, so don’t judge yourself and others so harshly – just learn from your mistakes and always do your best!

Ultimately, you are the only one responsible for your life. Learn to make the right decisions, and make your life HAPPY - while finding balance, meaning and fulfillment, no matter what! It's really all UP TO YOU! Don't keep finding excuses... Don't keep blaming others for your downfalls... Even when you encounter difficult circumstances and lessons in your life, you have the inner resources to be strong, to remain positive and to know that "this too shall pass." You always have the power to accomplish great things! Check: www.teensselfhelp.com/Self-Esteem.html.

Leader of the Pack

I love to watch the show “The Dog Whisperer” once in a while (I actually wish I could watch it more often). Cesar Millan is an excellent dog trainer; his insights and lessons are impressive and his humility is admirable. He says that dogs have helped him become a better, happier, and more balanced human being, and gives the following advice - which we can certainly use to become better leaders:

1. Live in the moment. Dogs live in the moment and we should learn from them. “They don’t regret the past or worry about the future. If we can learn to appreciate and focus on what’s happening in the here and now, we’ll experience a richness of living that other members of the animal kingdom enjoy.”

2. Nurture a balanced life. Cesar tells his clients to follow this simple rule with their dogs: “Offer exercise, discipline, and affection every day.” Do the same for yourself, he says. “We humans are happier if our routines include physical activity, a sense of structure, and the opportunity to give and receive love on a daily basis.” Establishing routines and a well-defined structure are important in any organization.

3. Trust your instincts. Cesar says that many of us have lost touch with the instinctual part of our natures. We don’t pay attention to our instincts anymore. “By paying attention to non-verbal cues, such as body language and energy, we can learn more about our friends, our loved ones, and ourselves.” Let's pay attention to our feelings and emotions and the feelings and emotions of others; they not only affect us, but affect those around us.

4. Be direct and consistent in your communication. “Great relationships, no matter the species, begin with clear and consistent communication.” This is a lesson we should carry into other areas of our lives – with our family, our friends, in school, and at work. Communication is essential to make relationships work; we cannot just assume things, we have to communicate. Cesar also reminds us that: "We teach people how to treat us."

5. Learn to listen. Make the time to really listen to those you love and work with (or study with, or relate with in any way). A great leader is a great listener and also a great follower – a leader knows that everybody counts. A leader learns how to connect and interact with others in a positive way – using verbal and non-verbal communications and cues, and especially listening to what they have to say. Become an active listener.

6. Don’t hold grudges. Dogs don’t hold grudges, dogs resolve the situation when disagreements arise, then move on. “Imagine what our world would be like if we dealt with our conflicts before they escalated out of control. Holding on to negative feelings tends to make them multiply and prevent us from moving forward” he says. I remember watching a TV show once where the host explained that when ducks have a disagreement –which is usually a physical fight– they just shake it off (by actually physically shaking their bodies) and then let go of any bad feelings they had (they let go and move on as if nothing hurtful ever happened). We have to learn from dogs and from ducks.

7. Live with purpose. All animals –including humans– have an inborn need to work for food and water. Find your purpose in life and you’ll live a happier, more fulfilling and meaningful life. Cesar says: “Ask yourself how you can contribute more to your job, your family, and the world around you. You’ll feel much better about yourself.” When you project passion and purpose you will inspire others; and like John Quincy Adams said: "If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader."

8. Celebrate life every day. “For a dog,” he says, “every morning is Christmas morning, every walk is the best walk, every meal is the best meal; every game is the best game.” Wouldn’t it be great if we felt that way too? Every day is our best day! Let’s learn to rejoice in life’s simplest moments. Learn to be grateful and live in gratefulness. “Many gifts are hidden in the ordinary events of your own life.” When you feel thankful and appreciate your life - others will learn to feel the same way.

9. Stay calm and assertive. It's very important in every situation in our lives to remain calm and composed in the midst of conflicts and problematic events. Life will always present challenges to us and if we act calmly and peacefully we’ll be able to confront them with a positive attitude. Also learning to become assertive and confident are essential leadership skills. As a leader we have to give a good example, and remember that our attitudes and emotions affect those around us.

(My ideas and some excerpts from the article: “The Dog Whisperer: What Your Pet Can Teach You” by Cesar Millan (his words in quotation marks) – article in the Parade Magazine of Sunday, January 11, 2009). Check: http://www.Parade.com and http://www.parade.com/pets/index.jsp.

New Leadership Blog

I decided to create a new blog that will hopefully allow me to connect with all the faculty members and students that assume leadership positions in SBA, and others. I'm hoping I can motivate you to become a better leader, a better teacher, a better student and a better person. We all have so much to learn. We also feel overwhelmed at times, we have a lot to do and are trying to accomplish more things that we can physically and emotionally handle efficiently and effectively at times - and of course, many times it's difficult to balance our busy (and hectic) lives and to simplify things without neglecting our responsibilities. You may say, this is all I need, something else I have to read or check. My hope is that you check this blog once in a while (maybe once a month) - to share ideas and compare notes. I'll try to provide some tips, inspiration and the latest information on how to become a more effective leader. I'll also mention and provide links to interesting websites you may want to review.

First, let's talk about the importance of "emotions" and "feelings" and how these affect the people around us. According to the Teleos Leadership Institute "leaders have begun to realize the critical impact that emotions—theirs and others—play in determining their success as leaders, and therefore, the success of their organizations." Please check their site at: http://www.teleosleaders.com/teleos_ldc.html and click the link "How Emotions Drive Behavior" under Downloadable Articles (PDF Format) on the right side. We have to learn to pay attention to our feelings. "Feelings are like prayers" - they are important and they change who we are and how we relate to others. "Studies have repeatedly shown that emotions spread irresistibly whenever people are near each other, even when contact is completely nonverbal." Others are affected by our moods, by our positive or negative attitudes. Let's try to pay attention to our feelings.

In order to be able to motivate others, we have to learn to be passionate about what we're doing, our ideas, our work... to love what we have to do even if that's not what we always love to do. We have to show enthusiasm and feel confident. We have to believe that we can make a difference! We also have to expect the best from others if we want to see their best!

If you have any ideas on how to better motivate our Club/Organization members and officers, please let me know or send me a comment. May you always be inspired by the beauty in this world...